Can't Wait
by hatondog
Summary: Tag for "One Small Step."  1st chapter is the conversation that would probably follow the awful one Zane and Jo had at the end of the episode. The rest is aftermath.  Ch 4 is up!
1. Chapter 1

Can't Wait

The Usual Disclaimer: Don't own Eureka. If I did, I wouldn't have canceled it. But I might have rewritten this episode (One Small Step)

"_You want to know if I'll wait for you_," _Jo said softly. Zane nodded._ "_Yeah_."

"_I can't promise that_." _Zane leaned forward, expression worried._ "_Because you don't know how you feel about me?_" _Jo shook her head. _"_No, because there's a lot of things I don't know about now, and I can't tell you until I do._"

_Zane was quiet for a moment._ "_Honesty. I didn't think we'd get here_." _Jo smiled slightly_. "_I guess you never know where the day will take you._"

She watched Zane's face, wondering if he understood her hesitance to give him the assurance that he seemed to want. If he did, he was ahead of her, because she barely understood it herself. The realization that she didn't need to go to Titan to prove herself had started her down a path, but where it might lead wasn't clear.

What was clear was that she'd repeatedly allowed herself to be pulled into situations during both timelines, only to balk at the altar, so to speak. In the old timeline, her desire to be part of a couple had led her to dive in deep with Zane, then freeze when he took the initiative to make their commitment permanent. Apparently, she'd done the same with Taggart in this timeline. The pattern had repeated itself with the mission to Titan-she'd backed away just as acceptance had been within reach.

It was time to figure out what was driving her to stop short as soon as her goal was nearly in hand before she—and anyone else—got hurt again. In ways she couldn't begin to articulate, it felt like she was actually _honoring _what she and Zane might have one day by not making him a promise she might not keep. Her resolution, however, wavered as she watched his developing reaction to her words.

Zane didn't have the benefit of Jo's perspective regarding her behavior. He was perceptive enough to recognize that she wasn't saying that she didn't care for him—that, in fact, she might even love him. And he really did appreciate her honesty, as the dancing around the truth they'd both been doing for weeks had grown old. But the fact remained that she was keeping her options open to see other people while he was a billion miles away.

He sat quietly, eyes fixed on the Café Diem counter, surprised at the wave of emotions he felt at the idea of Jo with another man. With an almost scientific detachment, Zane noted that his chest was tightening, making it difficult to breathe. If he was a very different kind of guy, one less accustomed to moving from one casual relationship to the next, he might characterize his reaction as…unhappy. Or hurt. Or frustrated. Or maybe all of the above.

Nearly as odd was the realization that Fargo had been right. He and Jo had let their relationship drift without making any effort to set or even identify its course. Now, with only a week remaining before he left for Titan, it might be too late to fix what they'd allowed to become broken. Closing his eyes, Zane visualized himself in space, lying on his bunk thinking of Jo. Of Jo dressing up for someone else. Jo having dinner with someone else. Jo making love to someone else. Jo falling in love—with someone else.

Suddenly he had to move, to push himself physically away from the kinds of thoughts and emotions he'd rarely experienced. He stood quickly. Startled, Jo extended her hand toward him, but he stepped back, just beyond her reach.

"Zane?," she asked. Zane smiled, but his expression was sad. "I'm glad we talked, Jo, really I am. I wish we'd done it sooner." His mouth twisted. "Although, never having had a conversation like this that didn't come out like I wanted it to, maybe it's just as well I get to…" he gestured up toward space. "Go away. Don't know if I'd be any good at staying around watching you decide how…_things_ will turn out." Jo started to object, but Zane held his hand up to stall her.

"I know I haven't been a model of clarity myself, but I'm confused here, Jo. I get that there are things you need to work out. Really. I get that you aren't sure about us, and I get that you need time to figure that out. But you'll have it—I'll be gone for six months. So what I _don't _get is why you want to close the door on us now, rather than waiting so we at least have a chance."

"Zane, I'm _not_ closing the door on us…" Jo tried to pull him back down, looking around to see who might be overhearing their conversation. But Zane shook her hand off, giving a short laugh that was entirely without humor. "Does it really matter who hears us, Jo? You'll be free of me in a week." Vaguely, Zane realized that his rising emotions were tipping toward anger. He knew losing his temper would only make things worse, but couldn't stop himself.

"Well, actually, you've always been free of me. No commitment here—that would only be _romanticizing _our relationship, right?" Jo winced at Zane's reference to what she'd said when she gave his grandmother's ring back. "I don't measure up—not even to myself. I _get_ it." They looked at each other for a long moment. Tears welled up in Jo's eyes, but she let her hand and eyes drop.

Watching her, the fight seemed to drain from Zane. "Go ahead, Jo," he said, tone now defeated. "Do whatever you need to do to find what—or who-will make you happy. If you need to hook up with other guys to find that, feel free—you can do it with a clear conscience. In fact, _whatever_ it is, just do it. I won't get in your way."

Zane paused, then took a deep breath, eyes closing again briefly. When he continued, his voice was calm again. "I really do want you to be happy, JoJo. I wish I could be the one to give you that…" He leaned forward to kiss her lightly on the cheek. "But I guess we've finally run out of time."

Turning, Zane walked slowly out of the restaurant. Jo watched him go, the lump in her throat too large for her to call after him. She nearly shook with the desire to follow, to promise him that she'd be there for him, when he returned and always after. Letting him go, hands wide open, made no sense at all.

For almost three years, through changes in each of them and in time itself, she'd thought there was nothing she wanted more but to be with Zane. Now, as in the other timeline, he'd put himself on the line to make that happen. Yet she couldn't bring herself to move from her seat, paralyzed by an agonizing certainty that the pain she was causing them was somehow necessary.

But if it wasn't, if she was wrong, she'd just allowed the love of her life to walk away. Again. Walk away in the mistaken belief that she didn't care as much for him as he did for her. Again. Had she broken a pattern, or merely cemented it in place? She stared unseeingly at the floor, wishing desperately that she could travel through time just once more, to be sure that her future, and Zane's, would unfold as they should. But in truth, any hope that their futures would be together was fading.

The tears that had welled in Jo's eyes finally began to fall.

**A/N: Frankly, Jo deserves to cry after her behavior during tonight's episode. All I can say is….WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT? Even the actors seemed confused about how they were supposed to sell their characters acting so **_**out **_**of character. Not to mention years of plotline…**

*****_**insert unhappy face here**_*****


	2. Chapter 2

Can't Wait__ (Chapter 2)

7 am, four days remaining before the Astraeus launch. Zane lay in bed, struggling to find the energy to get up. It had been two nights since his talk with Jo at Café Diem. When he'd slept at all, it hadn't been restful. He didn't remember his dreams in the morning, but knew they hadn't been good ones. Even so, knowing that he'd regret going back to sleep didn't make getting up any easier.

When he'd imagined the final hours of preparation for Titan, he'd expected to feel pressured by the work and excited at getting closer to his dream. Instead, he felt tired and nearly overwhelmed at the thought of all the mission-related tasks awaiting him at GD. Idly, Zane wondered what would happen if he didn't show up. Would they send someone after him or just cross him off the crew list?

Certainly Parrish would be thrilled. If up to him, Zane's name on the flight roster would be nothing but a memory, replaced by Parrish's as first alternate. He wondered if the others might see that as an improvement to the team, since he'd overheard a few of them whispering speculation about what—or who—the former felon had done to ensure his selection for the mission.

It was that thought that aggravated Zane enough to break through his indifference and drive him to his feet. He might have lost interest in Titan, but he wasn't going to let anyone think he didn't deserve to go.

_Eureka Eureka Eureka Eureka_

Allison's lips tightened into a line as she looked over the charts prepared for her by the acting chief medical officer for GD's infirmary. Two Astraeus candidates had come down sick, and a third was showing signs of the illness. She suspected a _Giardia_ infection—to celebrate their selection for the mission, all three had gone on a hike, where they'd had taken water from a shallow stream. When pressed, they admitted to using an experimental ultrasonic filter whose track record was spotty at best. The impact on their gastrointestinal systems wasn't pretty, but it also wasn't particularly contagious.

On the upside, that meant that the infection wouldn't spread to anyone who hadn't shared in the bacteria-laden drink. On the downside, replacing them meant that there were no more alternates available for the mission. If one more person became sick or otherwise unable to fly, the launch might have to be scrubbed.

Sighing, she reached for her cell phone. "Jo?" she said when the call connected. "We need to talk."

A half hour later, Jo was fidgeting slightly in front of Allison's desk. "Why did you need to see me?" she asked.

"It's Zane," said Allison. "Oh…we aren't…" Jo stopped, not sure what she'd meant to say.

Allison held up her hand. "I don't need to know what's going on with you two. But I may need your help with him." Jo stiffened, although she'd been trying for nonchalance. "We've lost three of the Astraeus crew members to illness. It's isolated to them, but they can't fly and we don't have any more alternates available."

"Is Zane sick?" Jo hadn't seen him except in passing at GD since they parted in Café Diem. The one time they'd come close enough to speak, Zane had merely nodded politely to her and moved on. He'd been with Fargo, who looked back to Jo in surprise. She'd just walked away.

"No. So far as I can tell from the daily examinations we give the Astraeus crew, he's healthy. Physically, anyway…" Allison looked uncomfortable. It went against her training to share information about the health of someone under her care, especially when she was only speculating about his condition. But she couldn't afford to pull Zane from the mission if it could be avoided, and she suspected that only Jo could help.

"Look, Jo, your relationship with Zane is none of my business. You know I wouldn't pry if there was any alternative. But if things continue as they are, I may have to disqualify him for Titan. Which would leave us without enough crew members for a launch if no replacement can be prepared in time to step in. So I have to ask…do you know of anything that might be affecting his performance this week?"

Jo shifted her eyes away from Allison's. "Affecting him, how?"

"He's been distracted, increasingly so. At first he was just dropping things and not responding to commands during drills. Not that unusual, especially with the pressure he's been under to pick up the slack for the sick crew members. But it got worse yesterday—Grace described him as being almost robotic. And he not only missed an alarm during a test, but also caused what could have been a very serious failure in another. When she called him on it, Grace says Zane just nodded and walked away." Jo bit her lip while Allison continued.

"Frankly, I wondered if he'd taken anything—his behavior is almost as odd as it was when he was hyperoxygenated from TAP exposure. But his blood test came back normal. _He_ isn't though—he's clearly not sleeping. If I had to speculate, I'd say that he's depressed." Jo flinched. "If he doesn't show signs of improvement soon, I'll have to disqualify him. So if there is anything—anything at all—you can tell me about his condition, or do to help with it…" Allison trailed off at Jo's expression of misery.

"I…I think I may know what the problem is. I _don't _know if there's anything I can do about it. But, I'll try…" Jo looked back at Allison. "Where is he?"

_Eureka Eureka Eureka Eureka_

Following Allison's directions, Jo went down to the lab where Zane was supposed to be running life support equipment for Astraeus through a final inspection. When she came in, she saw him across the room, looking at cylinders arranged in precise alignment across a table. Her breath caught as she stared at his face. He looked haggard, with dark circles beneath his eyes standing out in stark contrast to unnaturally pale skin.

Since their argument in Café Diem, Jo had spent her own sleepless hours replaying the scene, wondering how it might have gone better. If she could have explained more of what she was thinking…made him understand that she wanted him to be a part of her life. She just needed to find out what kind of life she wanted to live. It was about her, not him.

But seeing Zane's face was like spinning a snow globe to view the scene from the other side. She'd told him that she couldn't promise to wait for him to return from Titan. To her, it had been a way to avoid setting them both up for disappointment if her life still had no direction by then. To him, she realized now, it must have sounded like she wanted to see if she could do better. The Zane she thought she was dealing with would have taken that as an invitation for him to do the same. The man before her now clearly hadn't.

With a start, Jo recognized what she was seeing. She'd imagined this again and again. After she'd hesitated at Zane's proposal in the other timeline. After he'd risen from his knee, stunned at her silence. It was the pain she'd imagined him feeling then, the pain she knew she'd caused. Except this time, it wasn't her imagination. It was real, written on _this _Zane's face. "_Oh, God," _she thought. "_How can this keep happening to us?" _

As if hearing her thoughts, Zane looked up, startling at the sight of her. He banged against the table, causing several of the cylinders to crash to the floor. The breaking glass sounded like an explosion in the otherwise quiet lab. For a few seconds, no one moved or spoke. Then a man standing to the side of Zane spun around. "Oh, _great._ Bad enough that we're saddled with this guy—Wen must have really had the hots for him to put some _criminal_ on the mission. Hope she had a good time, because now we're the ones getting screwed."

Jo gasped, then started forward. There was no way she'd reach Zane before he flattened the jackass who'd spoken, but she might be able to save the guy from some broken bones. Zane, however, didn't move. He only looked at the disgruntled scientist long enough to trigger his instinct for self-preservation, causing him to step out of Zane's reach. A low buzz of conversation filled the room as Zane bent to pick up the broken glass.

"Let me help you," Jo said quietly. Zane shook his head but didn't look up. "No, thanks." His voice was distant, but polite. "Please," she said. He glanced up, then turned without speaking, dropping the glass pieces into a nearby trash can. Jo looked around the room. Most people weren't even pretending to be busy—Zane had become their afternoon's entertainment. The ones who liked him looked sympathetic, but a few were clearly anticipating a showdown with Jo. She wasn't going to give them the satisfaction.

Assuming an official tone for their benefit, Jo mentioned the one person who she knew Zane wouldn't refuse to help. "Henry asked me to find you, Zane. He needs your help with the backup FTL drive. It…" Jo searched her memory for a plausible explanation for why Henry might need Zane's assistance. "It isn't maintaining its link with the communication module on Titan." Zane looked at her steadily. Jo was pretty sure he knew she was lying, but he eventually nodded and walked to the door.

Releasing the breath she hadn't known she was holding, Jo followed. She had to make things right for him, for them. If only she had an idea how.

**A/N. I wanted to end this on an up note, but they just aren't there yet. ..**


	3. Chapter 3

Can't Wait (Chapter 3)

_Usual disclaimer…don't own Eureka…yadda yadda yadda._

"Zane," Jo called to his back. He was nearly to the elevator. Between his head start and longer legs, he'd be on it before she could catch up. "Zane!" Finally, he stopped and turned, face blank.

Jo walked to him, resisting the temptation to rush. "Allison asked me to talk to you." Zane gave her a twisted smile. His tone was mocking. "Oh? I thought it was Henry who needed me. Which is it?" Jo gritted her teeth, annoyed at how quickly he could get under her skin.

"Allison is worried that she'll have to disqualify you for Titan." The smile slid off Zane's face. "She says you've been distracted and tired. She thinks..." Jo took a deep breath. "She thinks you're depressed."

"Depressed? About what?" "Us," Jo said softly.

Zane looked levelly at her for several moments, then gave a bark of laughter. "You let her believe that? Don't flatter yourself, Jo. Like you said, we're friends_._ We've had fun, that's all. Now I'm going to _Titan. _Space, Jo. Every kid's dream." He paused. "Except yours. But you aren't going, so we'll both have time to figure out what we want. And who. That's all good, isn't it?"

"None of this is _good,_" Jo responded, voice strained. After a moment, Zane frowned and stepped toward her. Behind him, the elevator dinged and Allison stepped out.

"Jo, Zane," she said. Zane turned and Jo could only gape at the instant change in his demeanor. As if a switch had flipped, his face became animated, smile broad. "Hi, Allison." Who blinked—Allison had always been immune to Zane's charm, but this was a full court press.

"Hey, Jo told me that you've been worried about me not being at the top of my game. I'm really sorry. I've been, uh…" His expression became leering, voice conspiratorial. "Celebrating too much. Seems there's a lot of space groupies in town."

"With six months of no, well, _company _ahead of me, I guess I got a little carried away-haven't been sleeping a lot." Allison's eyes widened. As if against her will, she looked to Jo, then dragged her eyes back to Zane. "I'll get it together, Allison. I promise—I'll give 110% from now on."

Jo stood as if rooted to the floor. Was he telling the truth? Had he been screwing his way through Eureka's female population for the past few nights? Was this payback, or had he really not changed at all? Stunned, she realized it didn't matter. True or not, Zane's words had been the verbal equivalent of slamming a door in her face.

If Allison doubted Zane's story, she didn't say so. She felt badly for Jo and, if she'd been sure that Zane had fabricated the story he'd just told, she might have felt badly for him as well. From the outside, it looked like he and Jo had been playing emotional tug of war for weeks. But her need for a complete flight crew made her willing to accept Zane's outrageous explanation for his exhaustion at face value.

"Fine," she said tersely. "Get back to work. Fargo could use your help with setting up the flight modules." Zane nodded and, without another look at Jo, followed Allison into the elevator. Jo just looked after them until the doors closed.

As the elevator descended, neither Allison nor Zane spoke. He cleared his throat as if to break the silence, but looked away when Allison turned toward him. Then, just as they reached their floor, he sighed and pressed the stop button. "Zane?" Allison asked.

"I'm an asshole," he said, even though those weren't the words he'd expected to say. Allison raised an eyebrow, fighting to suppress a smile. "I don't know you well, Zane, but I don't think _that's_ entirely accurate. What you said up there wasn't kind though…was it true?"

"No. You were right—I haven't been sleeping well, but what I said…that's not why. Not sure where it came from…it's just…" he shook his head. "I will get it together, though. That much _was _true." He looked directly at Allison, expression serious. "Don't take me off the mission. I'll be good for it. Really."

Allison looked at him for several moments. As if she'd been debating her next words, she spoke slowly. "Zane, I _am _concerned about you. If you can't be focused on the mission and mentally ready to handle anything that it throws at you, it would be irresponsible to allow you to go. But, at this point we don't have anyone ready to take your place. And I think that you bring as much or more to the team than anyone on it, so disqualifying you would be a loss I'm not prepared to accept unless necessary."

Her tone softened slightly. "I wouldn't have brought you to Eureka in the first place if I hadn't thought you could make it work here. For the most part, you have. But recent _circumstances_…" she made a gesture Zane understood as referring to the timeline change. "May have made things harder for you, and certainly for Jo, than for others who've dealt with it. Maybe that has nothing to do with your behavior these past few days-I don't know, and don't need to. But I do know that leaving her with what happened upstairs can't be good for either of you. As a friend, I hope you both find a way to be in a better place before you leave for Titan."

Zane was startled at Allison's last comment. While she had always supported his continued presence in Eureka, he would never have counted her among his friends there. Yet maybe Jo's friends saw them as more of a package deal than he'd ever realized. After all, they knew the _other _him, the one who'd proposed to Jo. Certainly he'd felt more warmth from her cohorts in time travel since their return than he ever had before.

Yet while the realization that they might consider him a friend was nice—more than nice—it was also a reminder of the expectations he'd felt pressing on him since he'd learned about what'd he'd had with Jo before. Expectations about where they'd end up this time, even if neither of them actually put in the effort required to get there. Like, for starters, talking about what they wanted and needed from each other.

"But," Allison broke into his thoughts, her tone brisk. "As the head of GD, I can't just hope that you'll be in good enough shape to stay on the mission by launch time. So, I'm going to give you a sleep aid that you _will_ use tonight. I want you to have at least 8 full hours of sleep before you return here. And I'm making an appointment for you to see GD's psychologist before you leave today. She'll give me her evaluation of your condition, and we'll go from there." She pressed the button for the elevator to continue.

"A psychologist?" Zane asked, incredulous. He'd seen several growing up, usually just before his expulsion from whichever University had most recently decided the underage genius was more trouble than he was worth. "Yes, Zane. Today." Allison held her hand up against his objections. "Not negotiable." The doors opened. "Go help Fargo and I'll have Dr. Halloway text you with your appointment time. You can pick up your prescription from her."

Sighing, Zane smiled wryly. "Yes, ma'am." Allison smiled in return and pointed down the hall. "Good. Now go."

Later that night, Zane sat on his couch, glaring at the pill bottle in his hand. The meeting with the psychologist had gone like every other one he'd had—badly. She'd been pleasant enough, but he'd resented the intrusiveness of her questions. Falling into a pattern he'd developed with past shrinks, he began to throw questions back at her, until they were saying little more than "what do you think?" and "how does that make you feel?" to each other. Finally, she'd had enough and called an end to the session, only 15 minutes in.

"Thank you, Mr. Donovan. This has been very…_illuminating._" she said, dismissing him. Too late, he realized that he might have just flushed his chances to stay on the Astraeus crew down the proverbial toilet. He could only hope that Allison's need for a complete flight team would outweigh her annoyance at his lack of cooperation with the psych eval. Grimacing, he decided that he could at least comply with her directions to get some sleep and swallowed one of the Ambien he'd received.

Never having taken a sleeping pill, Zane wasn't aware that taking it and going to bed should occur in pretty rapid succession. Instead, he picked up a pad of paper. This hadn't been his day for staying on the good side of women he'd encountered, but he still owed at least one of them an apology. May as well start groveling now…he leaned back and began to write.

An hour later, Jo stood on the steps to Zane's townhouse. The living room lights were blazing, but the bedroom lights were off. That meant there was at least a chance he was with another woman, if there'd been any truth to his description of how he'd been spending his nights. She hesitated, fighting the urge to leave.

She could imagine Zane with someone else without much difficulty—she didn't need to see it. The thought of standing at his door, with some half-dressed babe waiting impatiently for her to go was deeply unappealing. But the message she'd received from Allison drove her to knock anyway. She needed to talk to Zane about it before he arrived at GD in the morning. If she interrupted him in …_something_…so be it.

No answer. That only seemed to confirm that she didn't want to know what was going on behind Zane's door. Suddenly, though, Jo's hesitance became determination. Hearing that he'd replaced her so readily had been humiliating at first, but was infuriating now. Of all the _trashy_ things to do…she wouldn't have put it beyond the Zane she first met in this timeline, but didn't want to believe it of him now. Was the man really that governed by hormones? Blushing, she recalled that she'd been pretty happy to exploit that tendency on his part until now... Enough. She knocked again, much harder.

Still no answer. Before she could think better of it, Jo pressed the entrance code into the keypad next to Zane's front door. She'd never tried it in this timeline, but it was worth a shot. With a beep, a green light indicated that the code had worked—the door was open. Shocked at herself but unable to resist, Jo pushed the door, calling "Hello?" as she stepped inside.

Zane was sprawled out on the couch. Fast asleep and, apparently, alone. His position looked unnatural, and Jo felt a jolt of fear, which only increased at the sight of a pill bottle on the coffee table. Surely he hadn't…she rushed to the table, grabbing the bottle. _Zolpidem tartrate._ Ambien. Allison must have given them to him. With a whoosh of relief, Jo sagged onto the couch next to Zane. She gently pushed him into a more comfortable position, and he stirred.

"Hey, Jo…" he slurred. Smiling, Jo realized that while his eyes were open, he was still asleep. If she was a different kind of woman, it _might_ be fun to see what he'd say under the influence of sleeping pills, but…no. Instead, she just said "Shh. Go back to sleep."

Eyes unfocused, Zane shook his head. "I…it was stupid, Jo. Really sh- sh- sorry…". His eyes closed and he began to snore. She leaned over to stroke his cheek before standing. He was out for the duration, so their conversation would have to wait. Turning to retrieve a blanket for him, she saw the pad of paper that had fallen to the floor. Her name was at the top of the page. Picking it up, she sat again to read.

Jo: What I said to Allison today about sleeping around was bullshit. I'm sorry if I hurt you, and sorry to embarrass you in front of her that way. I did mean what I said at Café Diem though—I want you to be happy. If that

He must have fallen asleep then because the rest of the page was blank. She carefully tore it from the pad, folded it, and put it in her pocket. They had a lot to talk about in the morning—if he'd decided against finishing the note, chances were he wouldn't remember writing it. She didn't want regret at her seeing it to get in the way of what needed to be said.

Bending, Jo kissed his cheek softly before moving to his bedroom. She'd sleep there so she could catch him before he went to GD. It was going to be a long day.

**A/N: I know the things Zane said to Jo and to Allison were a little harsh, but the Zane in my head was pretty ticked off. He also said some other things, but I deleted them…**

**Next chapter soon! **


	4. Chapter 4

Can't Wait (Chapter 4)

Around 4 a.m., Zane woke with a pressing need to go to the bathroom. Rolling toward the edge of what he thought was his bed, he crashed to the floor and yelped in pain. When he tried to stand, he became tangled in the blanket and nearly fell again. Cursing, he bounced off the edge of the coffee table and staggered a few steps before finally freeing himself. He spun around, disoriented—what the hell was he doing in his living room?

His confusion only deepened when someone bolted from his bedroom. On guard immediately, he swung at the moving figure. Fortunately, his balance had gone missing when the sleeping pill hit his system, and he missed by a wide margin. The figure, however, wasn't similarly impaired and shouldered him in the gut, taking them both to the floor. As Zane was struggling against the weight pinning him down, it registered that the pose felt oddly familiar. Just then, Jo caught her breath and yelled "Zane!" directly into his ear.

"Shit," he howled, clapping a hand over the now ringing ear. "Jo? What are you _doing_ here?"

"I _was_ sleeping until you started crashing around out here. What happened?" she asked.

"I needed to hit the can. Except I'm in my living room…I fell asleep on the couch?" Still confused and fighting sleep, Zane sounded a bit like a tired toddler. Jo bit back a smile. "Yes, you were asleep when I got here." Zane nodded and was quiet for a moment. "You were sleeping in my bed…" Now Jo did smile. Zane had unwittingly taken his toddler impersonation up a notch with the nursery rhyme reference. "Did we…?" Jo shook her head. "No. I wanted to talk to you before you left for work, so I just camped out in your room while you slept."

Shifting, it suddenly registered with Jo that, while Zane might sound like a toddler, he was definitely all grown up. She rolled off of him quickly, before his physical reaction to her cleared his mental fog. Reaching out a hand, she helped pull him to his feet. "Bathroom's that way," she said, pointing him down the hall. "_My_ house," he mumbled sulkily as she gave him a push in the right direction. She waited until he made it down the hall, then returned to bed. If he didn't come out of the bathroom soon, she'd check to make sure he hadn't hurt himself or fallen asleep there.

Closing her eyes, Jo was drifting into sleep when Zane flopped on the bed beside her. She stiffened—maybe he'd been more awake than she'd thought. Sex would only complicate the discussion that awaited them in the morning, but Jo didn't have much faith in her willpower against any advances he might make. She squeaked when his arm snaked out around her, frantically thinking of how she'd talk him—and herself—out of doing what came so naturally to them.

Until he snored. She nearly laughed with relief, notwithstanding the tiniest twinge of regret. Curling into his side, she listened to Zane's even breathing until she was asleep too.

_Eureka Eureka Eureka Eureka_

Zane stirred awake several hours later. He was alone, but had a distinct memory of Jo sleeping next to him. With sharp disappointment, he decided that had either been a memory from another night or a dream.

Closing his eyes, he was debating going back to sleep when the smell of coffee reached him. Since it was unlikely that anyone would break in to help themselves to his Vincepresso beans, Zane was more curious than alarmed. He got up and walked quietly down the hall.

The sight that greeted him stopped him in his tracks. Jo was at the refrigerator, wearing a rolled up pair of his sweatpants and a monstrously oversized T shirt. He blinked, wondering briefly if he was still asleep, until she turned. "Hi. You're awake," she said. "Yeah. And you're here…why?"

"You don't remember last night?" she asked, lips twitching when his jaw dropped. How on earth had they gotten from the scene with Allison at GD to Jo standing in his kitchen, having clearly spent the night? "Um…." He stopped, unable to decide which answer would get him in the least trouble. This was unexplored territory for Zane-never in his life had he been unable to remember what he'd done, or with who. The idea that he'd lost a night with Jo, when he'd doubted having one again, was particularly disturbing.

Taking pity on him, Jo smiled. "I came by to talk last night and you were asleep. The pills Allison gave you really knocked you out. It was late, and I wanted to see you before you got to GD, so I stayed over." Zane didn't know whether to be relieved or put out at her explanation. Even if he couldn't remember the night, it'd have been nice to know he'd shared another one with Jo before leaving for Titan. Then again, that also meant he hadn't forgotten her forgiving him for what he'd told Allison. Which reminded him…

"What I said to Allison yesterday, Jo. It wasn't true-" She held up a hand. "I know. You were writing a note," She pulled the folded paper from the pants pocket and handed it to him. "I wasn't sure if it was you or the pills writing. Anyway, I know you didn't mean it. It's…ok." Zane looked questioningly at her. "So we're good?" Jo nodded. "Yes, we're…um, fine."

"Fine." Zane frowned, then shrugged. "OK. So was that what you wanted to talk about?"

Jo shook her head and picked her cell phone up from the counter. Scrolling through the menu, she tapped a few keys until a message from Allison appeared on the screen. Wordlessly, she handed the phone to Zane. Looking puzzled, he read the message. For a few moments, he just stared at it, then looked impassively back at her.

"Jameson is out," he said. Jo nodded. "Broken leg," she confirmed. "And they're giving you a chance to take his place on the mission." She nodded again. "Yes. Crew members have been dropping like flies. There aren't any alternates left, so they've gone to the backup list of candidates who were qualified to go, but not selected for some reason."

"Why are you showing me this? I thought you didn't want to go," Zane said carefully.

"I didn't want to make the same mistake twice." Zane cocked an eyebrow—Jo admitting to a mistake was another new experience for him this morning. "When I decided I didn't need to go to Titan, I should…" She took a deep breath. "I should have talked to you. First. I know we haven't been…a couple, not really, but I see now that we can't get there if we don't act like couples do. Including," she sighed. "Checking with each other before making major decisions that could affect us both. I can't ask you to do that if you don't want to, but I should have…this time. I think. " Jo trailed off, annoyed at her stumbling words.

It was so ridiculously hard to talk to Zane about their relationship, whatever it was. It hadn' t been much easier in the other timeline, which may have been why his proposal had caught her so off guard. But they couldn't continue like this, if they continued at all. It was far too awkward.

"So…you're asking me if I think you should go?" Zane said slowly. She nodded, non-verbal communication seeming more reliable than trying to speak again. His eyes dropped to the phone. For a full minute, he said nothing, until Jo began to think this conversation had been a terrible idea. Maybe she could just grab her phone and go…she could probably make it to her car without anyone seeing her in Zane's clothes. And Carter would already be gone from SARAH for the day…

"I…you…" Zane's voice stopped her skittering thoughts. He cleared his throat and started again. "What you said you needed to figure out while I'm away…can figure it out if you're on Titan?" Jo was startled. Based on Zane's mopiness over her decision to not go to Titan, she'd expected him to insist that she take Allison's offer to join the mission now. She'd never imagined his first words being about what she needed rather than what he wanted.

"I don't know," she said softly. Still looking at the phone, he asked "Are we—me—part of what you need to think through?" "Yes," Jo said simply.

Zane nodded and fell back into silence. Uncomfortable without something to do, Jo poured out two cups of coffee. Handing one to Zane, she sat at his small kitchen table.

He slid her cell phone across to her. After turning his coffee cup in circles until it spilled, he spoke haltingly. "Did we ever…work together? Before?" Surprised, Jo shook her head. "You mean, at GD? No. Our paths crossed, usually when things went wrong there, but I was Carter's deputy then. Never had a reason to be at GD unless there was a problem." She smiled. "Sometimes the problem was you, but I wouldn't call that _working_ together. More like working at odds."

Zane snorted. "Our specialty." Jo's smile faded. Seeing that, Zane leaned forward, tone intent. "What I mean is…you said we weren't really friends then. But we are now?" She nodded. "So, friends know about each other's lives, right? Maybe that's what we need-more information. About the parts of our lives in this timeline that take place _outside_ of bed." He grinned. "Although we could _always_ stand to generate more data-" Rolling her eyes, Jo held a hand up to stop that train of thought.

"Working together, 24/7 for six months. That would tell us a lot of we need to know about each other including..." He paused. "Whether we can be together. Whether we _want _to be together. Or not." Laughing dryly, he added, "Assuming, of course, that we don't kill each other first. And that the crew doesn't do it for us."

Jo was quiet, lost in thought. After a sip of coffee, she asked, voice flat, "You think being a billion miles from here, in close quarters with 18 other people, is going to be good for us?"

"Maybe. Or maybe it'll be really, really bad. One way or the other, we'll know. C'mon Jo, take the leap. Can you think of any tougher…challenge?"

She looked steadily at him for several moments, then picked up the cell phone. After pressing a few keys, she slid it back across to Zane. He read the reply she'd sent to Allison and blew out a sigh. As he stared at the screen, Jo stood and came around to him. When he looked up, a smile slowly spread across his face, matched by the one on Jo's. She turned down the hall, speaking back over her shoulder.

"I always hated gymnastics. If we're going to be stuck in space with tiny little beds and no privacy, I suggest we take _full _advantage of the facilities here while we can." Walking away, she pulled his T shirt over her head. "Coming?" Laughing, Zane followed. "If we survive? Best six months _ever._"

_Eureka Eureka Eureka Eureka_

Later that morning, Jo walked out of the crew members' locker room looking decidedly green. She was wearing an Astraeus flight suit. Grace had given it to her, after a quick hug and a "welcome aboard." As she dressed, Jo's excitement had slowly given way to nerves. Seeing herself in astronaut garb was one of the truly bizarre moments of her life, which was saying something given where she lived.

As she walked up to Zane, she was shaking her head vehemently. "I can't do this—I don't know what I was thinking. Me, an astronaut? This is _insane_. I have no business being here. There's still time, I'm going to find Grace and-". Putting a hand over her mouth, Zane smiled down at her. "Shut up," he said. "You _can _do this. Just stop telling yourself you can't." She bit down on his hand, but he just laughed. Pushing her along toward the door into the Astraeus hangar, he softly mimicked the refrain from _The Little Train Who Could._ "You can do this. You can do this. You can do this."

When they got to the entrance, Jo moaned. "I _can't_. Really, Zane, just let me go…". She tried to pull away, but he spun her toward the door. "Time to cowboy up, Jo."

As she stood, looking into the busy hangar, she felt Zane take her hand. For a second, she closed her eyes, focusing on his warmth. When had the juvenile pain in her ass become someone she could lean on? Putting thoughts to action, she leaned back against him for a moment. Then, with a deep breath, she straightened. "Let's do this," she said, and they walked together toward the waiting ship.

**A/N: I wanted to post this before the season 4.5 finale negates the storyline, as I'd guess Jo will be staying behind in Eureka. In the unlikely event that changes, I may continue the story on to Titan. Otherwise, this is where it ends, at least for now. Thanks for reading!**


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